What is Family Enrichment 101 is all about?
By Antony Innocent
We are a happy family that is striving hard to keep the love burning. We have our good days and bad days; but ultimately we know that we love each other dearly. We love and enjoy the company of one another greatly.
We are married for Seven Beautiful years (2006) and our Son Aadith was born in 2007.
We call ourselves a happy family, we remind ourselves of the same constantly...
&
WE ARE A HAPPY FAMILY!
This photo was taken in 2013 summer on our way to Wayanad, Kerala during our drive through the reserve forest. Look closely at this picture there is an Elephant Calf too in the picture.
In the Indian context, our marriage was a 'love marriage' rather a strange concept, because can there be a real marriage without love? In Indian context even today, marriage takes place first and love blossoms later (hopefully!), something that flabbergasts most of the population at least those in the West. Though ours was a 'love marriage' as opposed to 'arranged marriage', we did have our differences and petty quarrels. As the years passed by, though we did not have any major complaints about our marriage, we could feel that we are drifting apart and the closeness and the haunting feeling of love was thinning out; both of us felt the same but none of us would openly admit or dare to discuss about it.
What are the signs that we have been drifting apart?
[It is not that we would like to wash our linen in public, but sharing the below points serves the purpose of this blog; we know thousands of couples / families will readily be able to identify themselves with us on all these things.]
1. We never felt excited even when we did the most exciting things which used to excite us greatly seven years ago, i.e. when we were newly married. We felt empty and still not happy despite spending time as well as money.
2. I found fault in everything she did.
3. She continued to forget everything I asked her to do.
4. I was not ready to overlook even the slightest sources of irritation of day to day life and blamed her for ruining the day or the weekend.
5. She always felt that I was not happy with whatever she did.
6. She was not ready to share her views on things anymore.
WE WERE CLUELESS ON WHAT WILL BRING BACK THAT HAPPINESS, CLOSENESS AND THAT HAUNTING FEELING OF LOVE.
We certainly wanted things to change, we were seeing days, weeks and months slipping away without really enjoying life or the company of each other.
3. She continued to forget everything I asked her to do.
4. I was not ready to overlook even the slightest sources of irritation of day to day life and blamed her for ruining the day or the weekend.
5. She always felt that I was not happy with whatever she did.
6. She was not ready to share her views on things anymore.
.............. and the list goes on...
WE WERE CLUELESS ON WHAT WILL BRING BACK THAT HAPPINESS, CLOSENESS AND THAT HAUNTING FEELING OF LOVE.
Other Distractions Which Led To Half-lived Life
Along with these, our other financial goals and commitments too were distracting us.
We got too busy with our work and literally everyday we woke up each morning to work and not to LIVE.
We were busy making money and busy preparing for life, hoping to have the most comfortable life, slogging each day harder hoping one day we will have everything we needed, with decreasing 'quality family' time each day, each week, each month. This is certainly not the recipe for a happy life.
We certainly wanted things to change, we were seeing days, weeks and months slipping away without really enjoying life or the company of each other.
Thankfully things changed...like we desired all along...
How did things change?
Things did not change on their own but we changed it.
What did we do?
We talked...yes we talked and things changed.
Just a couple days before our 7th wedding anniversary (14, May), it was a Sunday, things did not turn out to be particularly pleasant that day - which would have been another petty issue like the usual ones we used to have, came as the heaven sent happening. I decided that we had to talk and talk to change things. After the lunch... I suggested a self marriage counselling session to Fara, which Fara in her foul mood was not so enthusiastic about. I persisted and we discussed on various aspects of our marriage life for seven long hours. By the end of those seven long hours of Self-marriage Counselling both of us felt light and both of us rediscovered our love for each other. Don't think that I am exaggerating the number of hours that we were in discussion, we actually spent seven hours continuously on the counselling session.
Thanks to Aadith for patiently and impatiently waiting for us to conclude our session frequenting the room checking with us, 'Haven't you finished yet?'.
We know that thousands of couples, just as you are reading this, want to rediscover their love, restore their marriage and to start living the life of their dreams. Fara and myself thought that sharing this personal experience will help families to realize their dreams about their family life.
We are also planning to design a one to two day Family Enrichment 101 Workshop for couples based on our self-marriage counselling session. We don't really hope to see any of you in those workshops which we will soon be organizing because we wish that each one of you have a happy married life without any need to attend these workshops; but if you too are clueless like we were, unable to find your handle over the issues, then you should keep checking out this space for our Family Enrichment 101 workshops.
Our Family Enrichment 101 Workshop is not only for families that have problems; don't think that this Workshop is for couples that are at the verge of breakup, we are envisioning these workshops to help couples have a fun filled life even as they are busy making money, busy meeting their financial goals and commitments. These workshops will indeed be helpful for everyone regardless of your age and regardless of how long you have been married.
Thanks to Aadith for patiently and impatiently waiting for us to conclude our session frequenting the room checking with us, 'Haven't you finished yet?'.
We know that thousands of couples, just as you are reading this, want to rediscover their love, restore their marriage and to start living the life of their dreams. Fara and myself thought that sharing this personal experience will help families to realize their dreams about their family life.
We are also planning to design a one to two day Family Enrichment 101 Workshop for couples based on our self-marriage counselling session. We don't really hope to see any of you in those workshops which we will soon be organizing because we wish that each one of you have a happy married life without any need to attend these workshops; but if you too are clueless like we were, unable to find your handle over the issues, then you should keep checking out this space for our Family Enrichment 101 workshops.
Our Family Enrichment 101 Workshop is not only for families that have problems; don't think that this Workshop is for couples that are at the verge of breakup, we are envisioning these workshops to help couples have a fun filled life even as they are busy making money, busy meeting their financial goals and commitments. These workshops will indeed be helpful for everyone regardless of your age and regardless of how long you have been married.
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