Sorting Out The Differences in Love & Relationship
- By Antony Innocent
Love and relationship do not
demand people without differences... it simply asks us that we learn not just
to live with these differences but that we grow to like these
differences.
In husband - wife relationship, there are four possible situations:
Husband and wife,
-
share
no common interests.
-
have equal
area of common interests.
-
have
common interests but the overall area of common interests is less than the differences.
-
share
common interests and area of the common interests is greater than the area differences.
If you want your relationship to be enriched, you need to be continually
working on increasing the common grounds. Both parties (husband and wife), have
to work towards increasing the common area that they have with the other person.
It is possible for all of us to do this because we were not born with the set
of interests that we hold today and you cannot be really sure whether you will
hold the same interests the next year, the next month or tomorrow. Interests
can change; there is nothing wrong in changing our areas of interest and that
being the case, it is always possible for us to start liking the things the
other person likes without having to give up our own likes in most situations. I
do admit that there could be situations where there are diametrically opposing
interests, which I do not evade, whereby to pursue one person’s interests or
dreams a bit of sacrifice from the other person is required. Here, I am taking
my cover under “most situations”. I will however, talk about the place of
“little sacrifices” in husband – wife relationship in one of the forthcoming
posts.
Nevertheless, problems popup if you ask, “Why should I work
towards covering more grounds on the opposite side? Such a question only
indicates that you do not have any idea of enhancing your relationship but some
other agenda in mind. This simply means that you really do not want your
relationship to ‘work’ and that will strip you of the ‘right to complain’ that
your husband or your wife does not understand you or does not show any interest
in what you do or in what you say.
Another advantage of covering more ground is that you don’t have
to give up your personal aspirations and dreams just because your husband does
not like or because your wife does not support you, any longer. How can they
not support or like it when it becomes their interest too? Yes, that is what
happens when both of you keep extending your grounds on the opposite side. A
time will come whereby there is no opposite side because both people’s interest
merge; here both people share equal common interests. Yes, of course, it is
easier said than done, but it is not impossible. What do you have to lose? You
can only gain by this approach including your ‘love’. Why do I say this?
Let me explain, by starting to like the things that your husband
or your wife likes if you think that you are making great sacrifices… YOU ARE
NOT! You will only be making life even better for yourself because, you get to have
more things that you like in your life. You will start doing more number of
things that you like in life. Don’t you think it will pep up your life with
additional dose of happiness when you have more things that you like in life?
Give it a thought...